


;)

by sunflowerwonder



Category: Homestuck
Genre: (attempted) cybering, F/M, Pesterlog, casual chat of incest, its not actually cybering they dont even make it past the figurative doorstep, mostly because daves a loser, request fic, some sexual references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-17
Updated: 2013-07-17
Packaged: 2017-12-20 10:28:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/886187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflowerwonder/pseuds/sunflowerwonder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TG: im like a motherfucking pimp over here<br/>TG: i mean like<br/>TG: not that im actually thinking of fucking my mother<br/>TG: im just using that in a metaphorical sense to describe the exact biznasty rating of my pimp status<br/>TG: and not as<br/>TG: fuck<br/>TG: i cant salvage this can i<br/>TG2: oooh my god</p>
            </blockquote>





	;)

**Author's Note:**

> Anon on Tumblr asked for awkward DaveRoxys. Who am I to deny that. Crossposted from [here.](http://sunflowerwonder.tumblr.com/post/55563909375/anon-asked-daveroxy-awkward-flirting-with-dave)
> 
> My ability to write Roxy isn't particularly practiced so I hope this is relatively in the characterization ballpark.

\--turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG2]\--  
TG: hey rox  
TG2: well well look who decided to show  
TG2: whats up my brother from another mother???  
TG2: haha omg  
TG2: whats up my brother from me  
TG: oh my god we havent even started and the incest train is already beginning its startling decent off morality mountain  
TG: its breaks screech but no sir theres no stopping we are on a one way trip to hell  
TG2: buckle up kiddos were in this for the long run!!  
TG2: choo choo!  
TG: roxy youre not helping me here  
TG: shit this was a mistake i dont think im okay with this  
TG2: obvs you wouldnt be here if you werent just a little okay with this  
TG2: and i told you it would be totes fine if you ditched out  
TG: fuck lets just get on with this  
TG2: somebodys eager  
TG: no im  
TG: dammit  
TG: just tell me how we do this  
TG2: lol well first we gotta make sure you chill out squirt  
TG2: its your first time around the block so we can just have some digital sloppy makeouts and call it a night  
TG: im starting to think this block is actually that shady neighborhood moms tell their boys not to go near  
TG: only for them to go anyway and run into a devious succubus who leads them down a path of moral doom  
TG: only in this case the neighborhood is lowbrow cybering  
TG: and both my mom and the succubus are you  
TG: wait  
TG: fuck this metaphor didnt turn out right  
TG2: lmao  
TG2: arent you gettin ahead of yourself there david?  
TG2: we can work up to the mommy kink ;)  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] has disconnected--

\--turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG2]\--  
TG2: back so soon?  
TG: yeah  
TG: yeah im here  
TG: sorry my wifi connections shit  
TG2: oh yeah all these shitastic interweb connectionz  
TG2: all up and stoppin right after those potential turn on statements  
TG: yo sarcasm aint appreciated here  
TG: my shitty internet connection is a very sore subject for me  
TG2: aw is little babu davey already flustered  
TG: shut up lets just get this over with  
TG2: not with that attitude mr!!!  
TG2: gotta warm up the lady here  
TG2: wine n dine me you know  
TG2: tell me im pretty  
TG: okay fine  
TG: i take you out and treat you to a mcdonalds on the way home from what must have been the worst damn movie of the summer  
TG: high class is practically our last name  
TG: well maybe not both of us since that would imply we were somehow related due to ecto shit out of our control  
TG: never mind moving on  
TG: point is im now standing outside your doorstep nervously wondering if youre gonna let me in  
TG: or something like that i dont know how this shit works  
TG2: taking the romantic approach are we?  
TG2: im swooning mr strider  
TG: really?  
TG2: oh yeah its like a fuckin swoonami over here  
TG2: swoonado  
TG2: swoonocalypse  
TG2: you really are a cutie arent ya? :3  
TG: i thought i was supposed to be sexy not cute  
TG2: you make it sexy ;)  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] has disconnected-- 

\--turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG2]\--  
TG2: am i gonna be expecting a random disconnection every time i use the winky face dude  
TG2: because the winky face is rad and i dont think i can keep cyberdating a dude who cant handle radness  
TG: i told you its my internet!  
TG2: whoa there friend lets keep those extreme punctuations for when im jerkin you off  
TG2: hm…  
TG2: wait for it…  
TG2: wait for it…!!!  
TG: im not disconnecting if thats what youre waiting for  
TG2: look at me breaking u of your vanilla ways already  
TG2: bet ur ass were descending into CHOCOLATE CHUNK territory now  
TG2: but yeah continuin on  
TG: what now  
TG2: *i slowly plant a kiss on your cheek with a wink and move to unlock my apartment*  
TG2: *you fumble to help open the door like a sweet little loser*  
TG: hey what the fuck  
TG2: oh like that wouldnt totally be how it would go down  
TG: excuse you but how it would go down is that i would sweep you off those incredibly sexy feet and kick down the door while an explosion shoots off behind me highlighting our equally sexy silhouettes  
TG2: i just got my feet called sexy by dave strider my life is like 100% complete  
TG: shut up i am the romance master  
TG: im like a motherfucking pimp over here  
TG: i mean like  
TG: not that im actually thinking of fucking my mother  
TG: im just using that in a metaphorical sense to describe the exact biznasty rating of my pimp status  
TG: and not as  
TG: fuck  
TG: i cant salvage this can i  
TG2: oooh my god  
TG: shit shit shit rose just saw my screen  
TG: oh my god shes just walking away with that shrewd ass smirk on her face  
TG2: oooooooh my god  
TG: hang on  
TG2: dave?  
TG2: dave honey you still here or did rose snark you to death  
TG2: r you in hell cause i dont think they have any wifi at all  
TG2: even tho we were sort of already on our way there in the first place???  
TG2: dave im about to come to your room  
TG2: wow look at me sounding like forty somethin mom lalonde  
TG2: dave???  
TG: fuck sorry  
TG: rose walked out to talk to dirk  
TG: apparently about me  
TG: then came back in to analyze my potential oedipus complex  
TG: while bro proceeded to blare stacys mom from the other room  
TG: fuuuuuck  
TG2: OH MY GOD LMAO!!!  
TG: goddammit  
TG: i must go  
TG2: sounds like im missing out on the party eh?  
TG2: how bout i join yall  
TG2: we can pick this back up later  
TG2: ill be expecting big things mr hotshot with the silhouette causing explosions  
TG2: BIG THINGS  
TG2: ;)  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] has disconnected-- 


End file.
